This morning I woke up from a vague dream. I hardly ever dream, I sleep like a baby thanks to meditation 🙂 I see myself there in the dream picking up my journal and writing something. I was thinking out loud now. Jesus! Give it a break will you? Would you just give one week break not to worry about goals and freak out? We still have a month before New Year. I looked at her. Nope! she was very busy writing so I looked into her journal to see what she was writing…I see the title now. Change your habits. The top ten bad habits to get rid of and the ten good habits to cultivate. No way…. I see what is happening here. She is playing one of those Indian tricks, magic, change few words here and there and call it change your habits for New Year goals. Here I am trying to figure out how to live life fully, completely, moment by moment, blissful, joyful with no future goals in mind.
Let me ask a quick question here. Do I want to improve myself gradually? The answer is an absolute yes! I guess because if I don’t consciously choose to improve, it goes in the opposite direction. Change certainly happens constantly but I have to be mindful of what is happening since it can go either directions for the better or worse. I know I am still trying to figure out how to walk on the thin line between being mindful and being a control freak. If I ask my inner voice to guide me and listen to it during the day it is being mindful and if I let my mind rules over me and get me just so focused on the game” I must always win game”, “winning is everything game”, I reach my finish line then it is being a sort of control freak. Did I figure this right? What do you say?
All that we are is the result of what we have thought.-Buddha.