The past couple of days have been fun days for us. We have been very involved with airplane project, playing at the park during the day for long hours, the nights are spent reading and playing a bit on PBS kids on computer. Well! My five-year old is having a long weekend there has been no school for him since Thursday until Monday for some school administrative holidays. So obviously I am having a fabulous time enjoying outdoors with Johnny and his new friend Victor. I am aware my job search or anything else comes to a standstill when this little guy is at home with me on these four days. I can choose to get upset about it or I can choose to enjoy and decide to have a good time the choice is always mine. I always enjoy and have a pretty good time when I am around with Himmi and Johnny I don’t really know any other way. I get so involved and enjoying in everything I do during the day. If I am working I enjoy that moment of time immensely and if I am with my family I enjoy that moment immensely so obviously you will find me cheerful, happy, giggly, smiling and full of positive energy 95% of the time. Well! There is still this 5% when I feel I have to take action, using my mind and I have to take control of the situation when I do get stressed. The 95% of the time when I am happy it is my heart that rules and I ask my heart for guidance and to go with the flow in all that I do during the day and life becomes so easy and fun. What does this has to do with meditation? Now you may ask. To me everything in my day starts with these 20 minutes of meditation in the morning. At the end of my meditation I o ask Uperwalla, Almighty, for guidance, to guide me to direct me to use my heart in my daily interaction with others. Meditation empowers me with this strange inner sense of assurance, a sense of knowingness that nothing can ever go wrong for me and that this moment is perfect and obviously higher power has a different reason which is beyond my understanding. And my job is to accept that and go with the flow. One theme kept coming into my mind since the past couple of days. That is meditation should become my writing and blog should not become my meditation. You know what I mean? Mind is very tricky and clever. It can side track and can get you away from the path if we are not paying attention and not aware.
Meditation is a lifelong chosen path of mine and I want to keep it as my number one priority and do it and practice it do the best I can every day during the day and don’t look at the results any more. I am not in any way have a target of achieving, moksha, enlightenment, Samadhi, sidhi’s, no such things or goals in mind because obviously it is again mind taking over not the heart and the spirit you see. So I ask Almighty! For inner guidance to just keep me on the path that’s all I need to do if I can just have the ability to keep myself in the state of joy in the meditative state all through the day for the rest of my life doing all that I do, I am happy. I do not need anything much more than that. Do not get me wrong here I intend to work as in work until I am Seventy Five obviously I have a lot of energy and I love and enjoy working. I am very ware that as a parent I am the role model for my boys and I need to make sure to also teach work as being part of life. So I will definitely be working for a very long time, I might definitely be writing for some time but now I just do it differently. I do it with meditation and my heart as my guiding force. I call this women that wants her heart to guide this feminine part of me as Radha and this other male part me that obviously thinks and looks at life as some kind of war and she is a soldier and like a sniper, ruthless, has only winning as the one and only rule in the art of war obviously she is Radhika. As I grow older as I age and change I want this tender, loving, compassionate, gentle, graceful, soft and selfless Radha to be more prominent than Radhika we shall see how it goes again mind wants a bunch of things to happen instantly but heart know there is a reason for everything and a higher power is directing my thoughts.
To be continued…
“Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate.” – Charlotte Gray.
Radhika Bauerle Radhika Puranam 