Precious presents, memories, family and Christmas!


The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.-J. Krishnamurti.

I saved some precious memories, moments in my memory. When I am sad, I go back there, check out the list in my mind, feel special, loved and try to get out of my blues 🙂 There are many to the list, just a few, I share here…

1.      The toys my father asked his friends and family to bring for me, from far of places for my toy collection. One of those was a set of lions with a daddy lion  and two cubs.

2.      My father also gave me my first Santa Claus, a toy savings bank. He  told me a brief story about  Santa and  Christmas. Back then, I was too little to understand other faiths and religions, let alone my own faith.

3.      My mother stitching me a bright pink long skirt with sparkles on it. It almost took her half-year to make this hand stitched, intricate sparkle design skirt. I loved it and I wouldn’t let go of it from my closet for the next ten years.

4.      My favorite Aunt taking months to teach me to and help me to make my school bag with fine, natural, organic, jute fiber.

5.      My  brother giving me piggy back rides, taking me back home in the dark winter nights from my music class, every times i asked. Some times he would wait for a few seconds and volunteer to give a piggy back ride 🙂

Having precious family memories is one thing but feeling loved by friends in a strange new country and feeling at home is another, don’t you agree? Isn’t this true that sometimes love comes in abundance from the most unexpected places. You just have to open your heart, mind and soul to be ready to receive it?

6.      I couldn’t stop thinking, how special I felt when my best friend in New Zealand, gave me a small set of traditional Paua ear rings.

7.      A very dear American friend gave me a large silver pendent, a cross, we found in Wellington, NZ. Well! We found it went to the closest store and asked them to return it to the owner, if someone comes looking for it. No one showed up to collect it so a few days later they called us and said it belongs to us now. That was the first cross I have collected that was the first year I celebrated Christmas.

8.      My precious older son making a surprise “Mother’s day card” for me.

9.      Someone dear to me, sent me a Christmas present, a very simple set of oven mats, her own hand-made, true American made, precious presents with love. That was my best Christmas present, I loved it. I have never felt such warmth and love, never expected to be received with so much love in a strange country. Almighty and America have been good to me.

Share with me your precious memories, you cherish, that can get you out of your winter blues

Christmas season.


The other day my five-year old asked me a bunch of questions about my family in India. After hearing a bunch of Indian names, he asked if he has an Indian name. Sometimes I wonder how my grandparents lived but I don’t have any written documents, journals about their individual thoughts. I suppose, this blog would serve like a log, gives a glimpse of what we do now, for grandchildren, future Indian American generation. My boys are growing up here and the next generation would be very much American with a tiny bit part of them being Indian.

I just want to be a good Ancestor. It is very important for us to say how much we love our children, grandchildren and the future generations of human race. We don’t say that enough. We need to do this more often. Now! I can pick up and raise a baby from any country, any race, and call him/her as mine, and love her/him forever. It happens in America all the time. So here I repeat again to my future family, to all children, blended, adapted, extended, American, Indian American, Indian, children of all of our human race, whoever you are, wherever you are, you are completely loved and adored just for what you are.

Here I am today, enjoying warm sunny afternoon and the Christmas season. My heart is filled with love for all the babies and the children of this mother earth. You are completely,totally loved. Never question that. And you are never alone. There are always Angels watching over you, wishing and blessing all the love, good fortune and comfort on your way.

“Becoming a mother makes you the mother of all children. From now on each wounded, abandoned, frightened child is yours. You live in the suffering mothers of every race and creed and weep with them. You long to comfort all who are desolate.” – Charlotte Gray.

Share with me what made you smile today? November 28th 2010.


“You are without needs. There is nothing that you need to be perfectly happy. You only think there is. Your deepest, most perfect happiness will be found within, and once you find it, nothing can destroy it”.-Neale Donald Walsch.

A very happy day! Here is a list of few things that made me happy and smile today. Dear Reader! Share with me what made you smile today?

1. The past three days have been just wonderful 🙂

2. Watching my boys relax and enjoy 🙂

3. Everyone around me is in a cheerful holiday mood 🙂

4. You step outside you see these wonderful, cheerful smiles of the shoppers 🙂

5. I look at pictures of Facebook friends with big smiles having a good time with friends and families 🙂

6. Seeing a cute little girl with a beautiful innocent smile 🙂

7. The fantastic infrastructure, traffic system that works 🙂

8. Looking at the thanksgiving holiday traffic 🙂

9. You hear the same old Christmas song but it still brings back cheers and  smile 🙂

10. There is definitely joy around us. Almighty! Thank you so much for a wonderful day.

Share with me what made you smile today?

My thoughts on parenting, things I have learnt from my parents. Part -3.


“The roots of effective leadership lie in simple things, one of which is listening. Listening to someone demonstrates respect; it shows that you value their ideas and are willing to hear them.” – John Baldoni. The thought of effective leadership bring me back memories….Mom’s are almost like Michelangelo’s….They can create a beautiful baby and influence his life forever. Think about it just for a second imagine…. The first time I heard somewhat of similar explanation from my mother and that my son should always be first priority I freaked out…All my romantic notions of having my own little baby like a little toy was gone. The thought of so much responsibility was overwhelming… But what my mother said to me and explained to me the entire discussion we had that day is struck by me even to this day.

The day is still so fresh in my memory I was a bit irritable that day because I have my final tests and my little boy of four months was bothering me. I was not finding enough time to prepare for my finals. I guess I was stressed. My mum was nice. She said I know you are stressed and your education is important but imagine what would have happened if I was a lot more selfish, didn’t bother to work and didn’t bother to pay enough attention, plan for your education and career and such. I didn’t complain much that day but I kept thinking. This conversation we had never went away.

Here I am now. Today with two pairs of eyes constantly watching my every move what is mom going to do next? It still freaks me out. I constantly strive to do better. These two boys are so smart if I make one mistake, one wrong move they bring my attention to it right back.

Just the other day, while I was driving, I cussed. I never usually do that and I forgot just for that moment there that my younger son was in my car. He got so mad at me and said “Mom! That’s a bad word, do not say bad words. I made a sincere apology and promised him, I will try not to do that again. I had to remind myself I need to be very alert all the time. These two boys are very smart and are watching every step I take. The older I get they still watch me and this will never end… Parents will always be very influencing persons in a Childs life.  when I say being a parent is my first and most important job/career there is nothing wrong with it I guess….Parents are the Michelangelo’s that collectively create America, India and the rest of the world, we create the future leaders. Moms need to cultivate self-respect, honor the inner being. We must be gentle and kind to ourselves first before we can teach our children about self-respect and respecting humanity. On a similar note, we must also remember that neither the soul nor human intelligence has a gender.

Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when we suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth, we have spoken it.”-Whitney Griswold.

 

 

 

Do I need to set goals? Part-2.


This morning I woke up from a vague dream. I hardly ever dream, I sleep like a baby thanks to meditation 🙂 I see myself there in the dream picking up my journal and writing something. I was thinking out loud now. Jesus! Give it a break will you? Would you just give one week break not to worry about goals and freak out? We still have a month before New Year. I looked at her. Nope! she was very busy writing so I looked into her journal to see what she was writing…I see the title now. Change your habits. The top ten bad habits to get rid of and the ten good habits to cultivate. No way…. I see what is happening here. She is playing one of those Indian tricks, magic, change few words here and there and call it change your habits for New Year goals. Here I am trying to figure out how to live life fully, completely, moment by moment, blissful, joyful with no future goals in mind.

Let me ask a quick question here. Do I want to improve myself gradually? The answer is an absolute yes! I guess because if I don’t consciously choose to improve, it goes in the opposite direction. Change certainly happens constantly but I have to be mindful of what is happening since it can go either directions for the better or worse. I know I am still trying to figure out how to walk on the thin line between being mindful and being a control freak. If I ask my inner voice to guide me and listen to it during the day it is being mindful and if I let my mind rules over me and get me just so focused on the game” I must always win game”, “winning is everything game”, I reach my finish line then it is being a sort of control freak. Did I figure this right? What do you say?

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.-Buddha.

 

 

Do I need to set goals? Part-1.


I am sick and tired of achieving success and all that Fxxx bullshit. Excuse my French!

I choose to have 2011 as a year of no goals and no new-year resolutions. Almighty! would you please help me here ?  It is ok to just live, be happy and at peace where’er you are you know 🙂 I am just going to chill, take one day at a time, watch and appreciate all other achievers around me.

A while ago a friend from India called me. She said your younger one is in full-day school and now it is time for you to focus and achieve. What for? What is achievement? I would rather spend some time, a few years just thinking about….how to work just Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday, eight hours a day, and twenty-four hours a week make about 20 Ml and retire. Well! John McCain said to be wealthy and comfortable one must have 5 ml. I am going to live the next eighty years  and witness fantastic changes in technology. It makes some sort of sense to make  20 Ml and retire for a simple life.

How do we do this? Do you have any ideas? I am a bit of obsessive compulsive and nerdy person.  More over  I have been lucky so far to make all my dreams/goals come true. It actually scares the hell out of me to make new goals. I get so consumed by the goal I lose myself in the process.

I want to work just about 24 hours a week and spend rest of the time with my family, reading, learning something new. Well! My monkey brain ( Radhika) sort of needs it. It lives and thrives by reading and learning something new. Just as much as myself (Radha) loving solitude and meditation. I am not sure if i have found a way to balance between the two yet!

Share with me what made you smile today? November 26th 2010.


A very relaxed day! Here is a list of few things that made me smile today. Dear Reader! Share with me what made you smile today?

1)     Sleeping longer is fun 🙂

2)     Still in bed thinking how do I kick-start my day with fun?

3)     Solitude. I love solitude 🙂 Thank God! as I understand now if we can enjoy solitude we don’t ever have the problem of being lonely and miserable.

4)     Lots of smiles exchanged. We had a good time on Los Gato’s creek trial walk 🙂

5)      Part of the afternoon is spent in “The Island of Sodor” with Thomas and friends 🙂

6)      Enjoying a perfect Friday 🙂 I have no interest in black Friday.

7)      I want a simple, clear clutter free, Zen life 🙂 Check this out: http://zenhabits.net/identify-clutter/

8)      I am so relaxed. My older son said “Mom you are lazy today. I agree I tend to become lazy once in a while when he is around 🙂

9)      Afternoon nap feels so good 🙂

10)   What would be my three goals for 2011?

Share with me what made you smile today? Where is your list?

 

My thoughts on parenting, things I have learnt from my parents. Part -3.


Mom! I think I want to be an actor said my older son. I said, did you know Ashton kutcher studies biochemical engineering?  Also remember“Harold & kumar” actor, Kal Penn has an undergraduate degree in movie making from UCLA? May be we should think about you doing a semester in acting to check it out…a while later he said Mom, I think I want to write a blog or something…my answer is you know you are really good at writing. You write all those fantastic essays, and you have English honors from school I think you can write a book if you wanted to.  The message is you can be or do whatever you really want. Finally at the end of our conversation I said well! Anyways you know, you have all your life, a very long life you can do all these things and much more there is absolutely no rush. I never seriously asked good grades from him but I definitely wanted him to have an aptitude for learning, an open mind to change and accept, adapt to new things. I believe my mother did the same. She was very gentle knew  to navigate and steer her children’s lives into the right direction in education and career planning. I see this similarity and active participation in almost all the American and Asian parents around me.

At the moment I am teaching my five-year old boy, numbers. He is just simply more interested in learning numbers and writing numbers than writing words, phrases and sentences. I said ok let us make a deal you do have to do basic home work (writing), whatever the teacher is expecting you to do for school,  then you can learn and spend more time learning numbers, writing numbers, reading, whatever you really like to learn. My purpose here is I want the learning process for him to be easy, cool, fun, and enjoyable, just having a good time with mom. Anything he learns in the process, he is well appreciated. No rewards or stars really. I didn’t expect him to read books but he is reading and at a good level, his teacher is very happy. I am his teacher assistant in helping the little one learn, I am very sincere about it, I learnt this trick from my mother. His teacher is my best friend and adviser. I attend parent meetings, note down what is the year-end expected performance level, what needs to be taught for math, English, science, general studies and him and I spend time every day learning it. We do way more than what the teacher expects. Later on it becomes a habit into something like my older son did sort of do five college courses in his twelfth grade apart from regular school work. He said he figured a way to go about it and it was something he can cope.

I have always considered my mother to be my first teacher, best teacher and career coach. First, she invested a lot of time, attention and was very consistent. I am still surprised how she could handle being a full-time working, single parent and think, plan, worry about careers for three boys and a girl. I have a strong role model to look up to. Bottom line is there is no rocket science in good parenting or Indian/Asian parenting other than having complete confidence in your child’s ability, investing a lot of time, attention, having a clear and creative mind to help your child and being very consistent about it. Don’t you agree? what do you think? Let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading my blog by the way 🙂

 

 

Ten things I am grateful for right now, at the moment, today: 11.24.2010


1)    I am alive, free, feel wonderful.
2)    A fantastic day.
3)    My two boys who are here with me today 🙂
4)    My awesome friends. I can’t make it without your constant encouragement and support.
5)    My soul sisters. Where would I be without your faith and belief in me?
6)    Meditation.
7)    United States America. I feel free, secure and wonderful. I love my life here in US with wonderful opportunities.
8)    Reader’s of this blog.
9)    Angels I feel around me that shower me with grace. I see little miracles all around me.
10) Silicon Valley, Bay area. Makes me feel very much at home.

Dear reader, Happy Thanksgiving!

The art of chilling out starts with Meditation. Part – 9.


Freud called it “the problem of everyday unhappiness,” we all have it relatively in some percentage. If unattended with preventive care, it becomes into worry, stress, anxiety, mood disorder,  panic attack, weight gain if you eat for comfort to control anxiety and to chronic depression.  I have seen it all in the people around me and I am no exception to it. I myself have experienced all these to certain extent until I have experienced firsthand the benefits of meditation. And now I am determined to spread the word. Meditation can be an effective way to prevent “the problem of everyday unhappiness,”

So, we have been interacting for a while now. Dear reader did you find out when is the next meditation class you are going to start?  Are you planning to take 21 days challenge to start this new habit? Is this going to be your New Year resolution for 2012?

I have not been recommending any particular path or practice of meditation. I do not want to do that. What works for me may not work for you. As such I was introduced to meditation by a friend way back when I was just sixteen and it was Paramahansa Yogananda’s “self realization” path. At that time I was turned down for initiation since they said one had to be eighteen. Later on I used to attend regular Satsang at a center for “ Radha Soami Satsang- Beas” but never got a chance to get initiation from Mahrajji. I had breaks in between and never really had a chance to get what you call initiation from a profound master for a long time. That only happened about ten years ago when I met Sri Haribhau Joshi Maharaj. He introduced me into “shaktipath” meditation. So the bottom line is, do what you need to do as a first step today. Find out which is the closest meditation center that offers a class and just go ahead and enroll yourself. Write a journal on your experiences. I have come to the realization now, that  practicing meditation is a lifelong affair 🙂 Once you get a feel for it you just can’t quit.